Author: Simply Tatyana

Posted in Motherhood

Not your “Average” Mama

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

Being a young mom is stressful alone now let’s add social anxiety to the equation. We’re talking about a whole new “ball game”. 

I’ve struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. My anxiety is the fear of not being enough or making mistakes in public. For years I have rejected invites to hang out with friends and made up excuses as to why I can not go places. It has become normal for me to stay home days and days without going outside. Home is my comfortable place.

I found 2 photos from verywellmind.com that paint a great picture of Social Anxiety Disorder. I will insert them below here:

After having my son I made a vow that I would get out more and take him to the park and out to get some fresh air. It has been a struggle getting myself to commit and follow through with my vows.

I know it’s not normal to keep someone inside for days at a time and I have seen the affects it has on my babyboy. He has become so fussy and irritable. I know it’s because he can not let his energy out like he should. Another issue is he is not good with other children his age. He is always around his older cousins who play fight and are rough so he thinks thats how we play. He thinks he’s the same age as them so I struggle with disciplining him.

I am able to put this out in to the world because it is my everyday struggle and I have been following through and going out more often lately. Which means he’s getting more play time and baby interaction. He is getting so much better communicating and playing.

I on the other hand have probably gotten worst. I’m in a constant battle of “good mom” and “bad mom”. I tell myself every time I go out that it’s for my baby’s growth and wellbeing.

Every time I take my baby out I get crazy stares and people talk about me. Im not making this up. I live in a huge neighborhood full of older people and older people tend to be very judgmental. No is ever rude to me but their facial expressions says it all. I look really young I could easily pass for a girl in high school even though I am 24years old. No one knows my age nor do they take time to get to know.

When I go out I try to avoid people as much as I can. It never works but I try. Recently, I went to run errarans and had to stand on a long line with my son and his two cousins. This was an adventure which has led me to this upload.

After about 30mins my son was over it having a tantrum and dearly needed his missed nap time. Although the women there tried to help me calm him and they played with him I felt so defeated when I left. I was so embarrassed because I looked like I could not handle my own child. It has been weighing heavy on my mind because I feel like a terrible mom.

I heard one rude comment and that outweighed the other wonderful women who understood. But I’ve been in prayer and on the holy grail pinterest finding ways to help me get over this. I constantly drown myself with words of affirmation. I enjoy photos and making sure my son has a smile on his face. I have been growing in other areas in my life with the hopes of my confidence coming around.

My message is to the socially anxious momma is to do what you love. When your having fun you will barley pay attention to anything other than fun. For me that playing with my baby. Overflow your heart with positivity and words of affirmation. Look in the mirrior at the start of your day and speak life into your day. You are an awesome mom and no one can tell you different. It’s a journey that will not happen overnight but it’s worth it start small and grow from there.

AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME !  

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !

BE SURE TO FOLLOW FOR MORE CONTENT !

LIKE AND COMMENT ! I would love to hear from you all !

-Simply Tatyana

Posted in Motherhood

The Fears of Motherhood 

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed” – Linda Wooten

Many of you know that I am a mother. I talk about my baby as much as I can because he’s my world.

When I had my son I was probably in the worst condition I have ever been in. Mentally and Emotionally broken. 

He came at a perfect time because I needed him. God knew I needed him. He saved my life. He helped me to see my purpose in life.

He’s getting older now and the older he gets the crazier the world gets. The crazier the nation we live in gets. I find myself faced with many questions everyday. Questions that I’m sure millions of other mothers ask. 

Questions:

Is it safe to send him to school or should we homeschool?

How do I get him to listen to me?

Is he behind on the milestone chart?

Is it safe to take him to the park? 

Are the gun laws in America going to get better?

What age do I teach him about being black and how to act as a black boy?

Am I showing him enough love or giving him enough time?

I want to raise him right. In a way that he can impact the world if he so choose. Making sure he is kind to others and mentally and emotionally healthy is so hard for me. Only because these are problem areas for me.

He’s one now and I become anxious when he quiet and not himself. I worry when I touch my phone one to many times because then he’s lacking my attention. I fit myself constantly because I fear being a bad mom and sometimes I tell myself that. I struggle with being extremely dependent on my husband to help when I can not calm him. Most of the time I do not even try.

I found a solution to my fears. It’s an obvious solution but it is working for me. The solution is prayer. I find myself praying for guidance in motherhood, praying for strength in parenting, seeking God in difficult situations. Most of the time I have been overcome with peace in my situation or I have found ways to solve issue and sometimes use it for good (to help others).

*DISCLAIMER* You may pray and worship whoever you so please just know your not alone and asking for guidance and help will do the trick.

AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME !  

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !

BE SURE TO FOLLOW FOR MORE CONTENT !

LIKE AND COMMENT ! I would love to hear from you all !

-Simply Tatyana

Posted in Lifestyle

Not Doing Enough !

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

This week has been a rough one for me as a wife and a mother. 

This week I have buried myself in the mindset of  “if only I”, “what if”, and “maybe I should”. Thinking this way is very harmful to a person whether we want to believe it or not. 

I noticed a few things this week about myself and all those around me. For starters I am stuck. Which is why I’m writing this. I do not have a clue on what to do next. I feel as though I’m wasting precious time. I tell myself that maybe I should get a job and work my way up. 

Heres the thing I am a college graduate in my dream field. It would not do me any justice to work at a place that will not make me happy because I worked hard to be in a place that brings me happiness that’s when I do my best work.

I started SimplyTatyana and Zone One for this reason. I had to make my own way and so far I am happy and I know blessings and opportunities are coming my way.

I decree and declare that my blog will change lives, my blog will create opportunities for myself and millions of others, I will be able to live a prosperous life with income my blog and Zone One generates. 

Yes, I want to do so much more for myself, my family, and those like me who need a push.

The question I ask time and time again is HOW ?

How can I do these things if i’m not motivated or encouraged ?  

Heres when the people you have around you come in.

Having motivating people and successful people around you can make or break your journey. I come from a very judgmental traditional family. If you are not in school or working a 9-5 your dreams do not matter. They are just a dream that can never happen.

I fight demons everyday to keep myself focus and motivated on the goal. If it was not for God and my husband I would be living in misery.

I have goals that I know I will accomplish. I will continue to strive to stay motivated to reach them.

AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME !  

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !

BE SURE TO FOLLOW FOR MORE CONTENT !

LIKE AND COMMENT ! I would love to hear from you all !

-Simply Tatyana

Posted in Uncategorized

How I Met My Husband!

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

I’m Married Yall ! I Married Him !!! My High School Sweetheart!!

I love our story, it’s so awesome. Well for me I guess. I’m faithful and most positively believe he was sent by God. Here’s why:

Summer of Freshman year I went to New Brunswick, NJ for AAU JUNIOR OLYMPICS trials. This was one of the best meets I ever attended. I was moving to NJ to attend school for the next three years. So my team and I were having one of our last trips together so it was unforgettable.

My team and I had one last relay to run and we just so happen to be the only girls running. They felt it made more sense to run with the boys our age. We ran it was fun we came in last of course. After we ran this boy (my husband) came over to us and sarcastically told us we ran well. That’s when he caught my eye. Oh ! We ran the same leg.

Remember we were in NJ so most of the teams were from there. I asked my friends who they were and one girl knew and knew them very well. She gave me the run down. Turns out they were from NY and ran PSAL. I was super bummed because I was moving. Plus I went to catholic school back home, so I had never ran PSAL.

But then life changed I had to stay in NYC and I had to go to public school which meant I had to run PSAL. Every year there’s a huge meet that they hold where many celebrities run and come. I went with my best friend because we knew people who were running. One of my favorite athletes Sanya Richards was down taking pictures so my best and I took and picture with her and guess who was in our background ? That same boy from the meet in NJ.

This is the picture that sparked our journey. He did not have a clue who I was but I knew about him very well. *nope I’m not weird* I did not tell him to join our photo. So I took advantage of that. The track world is super small so I was able to get his name I found his Facebook and messaged him asking him if he wanted the photo. He accepted the photo and continued having a conversation with me. Eventually I agreed to attend one of his meets because it was convenient for both of us because he was from Brooklyn and I’m from the Bronx. The meets were held in Manhattan which is in the middle.

It was definitely an interesting first meetup I learned some much about other people. My first real experience with real love and fake love of family. He was caught off guard as well so it made the situation awkward. But he was still a pretty cool sarcastic dude.

From meeting my husband I’ve learned so much. I learned that if I wanted something I have to put in effort because it may come to you but you still have to make an effort. I also learned that I have to be clear and state my reason for being somewhere. I need to declare my purpose and goals. I had never told him I was interested in pursuing him. So with that he made sure to never get to close to me, he never crossed boundaries until I told him. I thought he wasn’t interested but I had never made it clear that I was interested.

Our story hasn’t been all sunshine and Roses but it’s our story that has produced a love that’s forever growing, a baby that is forever loved, and generational chains that are being broken. We have been through the darkness and the brightest of days and I know that’s what made us able to be here today.

AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME !  

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !

BE SURE TO FOLLOW FOR MORE CONTENT !

LIKE AND COMMENT ! I would love to hear from you all !

-Simply Tatyana

Posted in Motherhood

My Super Over Medicated Labor and Delivery Story !

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

This topic is one that is near and dear to my heart. I try not to discuss or even bring up the memories from my traumatic labor and delivery. I was compelled to open up about my story because one of my favorite Track and Field athletes Allyson Felix has opened up about her story.

Since the birth of her babygirl Allyson has been very vocal about her experience. So vocal that she made it to the supreme court. I have been following along her journey to bring awareness to this issue for sometime and I think I have the courage to open up about my story.

Statistics show that black women are three to four times higher to die of a pregnancy related illness than any other race. The most common cause that im seeing is improper care from hospital staff, and that should never be. I become very familiar with this issue after having my baby boy. Many big name women have experienced pregnancy related illnesses like Serena Williams, Beyonce and as mentioned Allyson Felix. Two of the named women are world class athletes who trained and workout while pregnant so these issues may arise suddenly and could happen to anybody.

Heres how my labor and delivery went. Around 9:00pm Friday night I started having contractions. I tried laying back down but I knew I was in labor so I stayed in my bathroom and let the contractions do there thing. Around 3am still not in pain but the contractions were picking up something told me to go to the hospital. Funny thing is I held out as long as I could because my husband told me (jokingly) not to go in to labor in the middle of the night. But something was pushing me to go.

I arrived at the hospital and told them Hey ! Im in labor ! Not in pain so they were not interested but I was persistent. They checked my vitals and what do you know 155 over 100 read my blood pressure. She kept asking do you have a headache or light headed I said no. I felt great minus the little contractions. She took my vitals a few more times, even had me undress and it said the same results. No matter how dilated I was they had to keep and monitor me.

I made so many mistakes during this process the 1st one was getting an epidural that I did not need. I was not in pain but they suggested I get it to lower my pressure. I was 4 cm dilated on arrival. Long story short I was diagnosed the most severe form of Preeclampsia, I stopped progressing at 5cm they broke my water and thats when I went down hill. I laid there praying, worshipping. singing, laughing, talking, and sleeping for the whole 24+ hrs. Every time the resident came in he had worst and worst news. Basically my organs were failing and my blood platelet count had fallen so low that they were afraid I could not successfully have a c-section.

Heres when the over use of meds come in. I do not know what they gave me but I seen them hold up my son and then I passed out. I was not alert enough to care for my baby when I went into recovery. I was on magnesium and could not stay up for more than 10 mins. My wonderful nurses held my baby to my boobs; made sure he was feed, they changed him, laid him on me when he cried. I thank them so much.

That first night was rough I had to stay alone my husband or my baby could not be with me. I got blood drawn and vital checks every 1-2hrs. They changed my dressing and cleaned me up. I was out of it. I barely remember this stuff this is what my family told me. I was so medicated I missed precious 1st memories. Every other family that came to the recovery room was well, talking and left within 2-3hrs. But, I stayed getting more and more meds.

Sometimes I feel robbed of the experience because I had a plan. I did not want an epidural or a c-section. I had requested many things from my nurses and doctors which they ignored. I did not want to cut his cord as soon as he was born and I wanted my husband to do it. They did not honor any of my wishes even though they said they would.

I get taken back all the time because look at me i’m here i’m alive raising my precious gift some do not get the opportunity and for that I am forever grateful for my experience. I would love for my story to be seen and be heard so people know that childbirth is not a joke and there are troubles that we have no control over. My body did not agree with the stress of labor but I had the most amazing nurses who understood the realness of my diagnoses and handled me with love and care.

My prayer is that maternal mortality will hit an all time low and hospitals and people take it more seriously. I pray that all of our voices will be heard and change the world.

AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME !  

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !

BE SURE TO FOLLOW FOR MORE CONTENT !

LIKE AND COMMENT ! I would love to hear from you all !

-Simply Tatyana

Posted in Lifestyle

Is College Is A Scam ?

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

Minimum 4yrs for a bachelor’s degree sometimes 3yrs if you’re lucky. $20,000+ per year sometimes that’s the semester fee. I’m one of the lucky ones who have less than $6,000 of student loan debt but many have passed the $100,000 threshold.

So here I am 5months later. Graduated with a degree in my dream field Healthcare and still have not found a job. So many healthcare jobs but not the one that I’m in need of.  A little disclaimer I have not been strict on the job search like I should be.

I got my degree in Health Sciences (Health Services Administration). My goal is to be a owner/director of an adolescent outreach program. 

I had dreams of careers that of course faded as the years went by but one thing stayed clear I belong in Healthcare because I believe my calling is to help. 

I am so proud of my degree because ya girl worked so hard to get it. I beat the odds and my 1year old son and I collected our Degree together. 

My degree taught me how to be a manager not to be an owner. It taught me how to report my boss not be the boss. It did not teach me much because it is such a broad degree it gave me an overview of the career not the ins and outs.

I thought I was called to hospital Pediatric care but after completing my internship I realized hospitals were not for me and I needed to do something beyond the normal because our youth are suffering. 

With that being said 5 months later and still no job openings I jumped out of my comfort zone and I am continuing my own organization Zone One. It seems so far fetched but I know my vision will shine through and warm so many hearts. 

My thoughts are that college is what you make and what you do with the knowledge given. 

So no it’s not a scam it’s a gate to your destiny.

Be sure to check the Zone One section of my blog to learn more and show support.

AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME !  

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !

BE SURE TO FOLLOW FOR MORE CONTENT !

LIKE AND COMMENT ! I would love to hear from you all !

-Simply Tatyana

Posted in Motherhood

Family Day Out !

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

As we prepare for my husband’s departure we have been learning how to be in the “now” and focus on what is going on here in front of us and not what is going to happen in the future.

I am a person who worries and when I worry that is all I can think of and I lose sight of everything but the thing that is causing my worry. Over the last 10 days I have devoted 10-15 mins out the day to read. The book I am reading is called Trade Your Cares For Calm By Max Lucado. This is one of his free resource books. Surprisingly I was given this book as I was headed to the grocery store. I believe it was a gift sent by God to help me prepare for what’s next to come in my life and I thank him for it. 

This book has helped me so much. It helps to put life into perspective for you to understand where you are in life, what you should be thankful for, How you can give thanks to God, and ways to overcome any struggles you may be having. To better assist you the book has a journaling peace section for you to answer questions he asks.

I have been training myself to use what I have been learning from my daily reads in different areas of my life. So today as a family we practiced seizing the day. Being in the now. We took our boys out to a few places. Everytime we got in the car they went to sleep. My husband and I used this time to Sing, Talk, and Dance. We had a ball at Target where we took the time to get to know the boys better allowing them to show us whatever their wants, likes, and dislikes were. We had dinner at the park then allowed them to play and we played with them.

To many this seems like a regular routine but to us this was different  and much needed. We used to take them out all the time and do things all the time. But, now we don’t go out much and it’s mostly because of me. I don’t like going out or leaving home. It’s something I have been motivating myself to do more often. I’m a work in progress and that’s okay.

AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME !  

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !

BE SURE TO FOLLOW FOR MORE CONTENT !

LIKE AND COMMENT ! I would love to hear from you all !

-Simply Tatyana

Posted in Lifestyle

20 Questions Blog Survey (Get to know me)

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

Hey guys! Today we are going to do something fun and a little different. I will be answering questions so my readers can know me a little better. I am a very new blogger and I would like to create a welcoming atmosphere. So like always feel free to interact with me, give feedback, and enjoy !

For starters I am Tatyana !

1. Do you have any nicknames?

My nickname is nothing special everyone calls me Taty for short. My babies call me Tat Tat.

2. How old are you ?

I am 24 Years Old

3.Are you named after anyone?

HA! I am named after my sisters best friend in Kindergarten!

4. Do you have any siblings?

Yup I have 2 sisters !

5. Where did you grow up?

The Bronx, NY

6. What activities did you do in high school?

I ran Track and Field, AFJROTC, and Culinary Arts.

7. Where did you go to college?

I attended 3 colleges : Norfolk State University, Kingsborough Community College, and Lehman College (Graduated with Bachelors in Health Science.)

8. What activities did you do in college?

I ran Track and Field !! (I quit my second year)

9. Are you married?

YUP!! To my handsome high school sweetheart Kwasie.

10. Do you have children?

YUP ! I have a handsome baby boy and 3 bonus babies (stepson, niece, nephew) From Left to right Maliyah (Niece), Elijah (Stepson), Mason (Nephew), Aiden (Son)

11.Favorite Color?

Pink, White, Gray, Black, Red.

12. What is your favorite drink?

I only drink 3 things unless I am out of my home. Tea, Water, and Coffee.

13. What is your favorite food?

Sushi and Pizza. They are the key to my heart. I can eat them everyday if I had to.

14. Favorite Holiday?

It would have to be Thanksgiving. Its an amazing time where we can show gratitude to God and see all the wonderful things he has done for us and our family. With a bonus of awesome food.

15. How tall are you?

And to the left coming in at a whooping height of 5’2 we haveeeeee Tatyanaaaaaaa !!

16. Can you cook?

Of course I can. They call me Chef T for short !! LOL !

17. What is your middle name?

Moneé (MO-NAY)

18. What is your favorite shop?

Target and Walmart they calm my soul.

19. PC or Mac?

MAC of course.

20. Goals ?

To reach 100,000’s of people maybe I can change a life or 10,000 !

20 Question done and completed. I hope you all enjoyed ! Again feel free to interact with me, I would love to know more about my readers. Any question, topics, or Ideas feel free to message me.

Thank you for joining me !

Share, Comment, and Like !

-Simply Tatyana

Posted in Military

Why The U.S. Air Force?

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

Where do I begin?

Well my husband is joining the Air Force and I could not be prouder. We are both native New Yorkers so joining the military and the possibility of having to live somewhere with no corner stores is very frightening. 

This is something that is an amazing opportunity for us as a family to teach us how to be responsible adults. 

Growing up in NYC we do not have friends that graduated with us and have awesome jobs with their own apartments and such. We have friends that graduated, went to college far away took advantage of other places and very few return to the city. 

In order to be happy in your early 20s while living in NYC, you must leave or be ready to face the struggles and challenges that the city has to offer.

NYC is not what it used to be they are taking away the culture for new aged money. They are forcing the originals away for those who can pay. That’s not fair but it’s okay life’s not fair. We will be back to buy a home in the near future.

We are tired at this point. We are returning our struggles back to their owner, God. We have tried numerous interviews, plenty no’s, and few crappy yeses but we are still in the same spot. 

So this is how awesome God is. We gave up sent him our struggles and challenges and took on this idea that we discussed many times but didn’t want to act on, the military. 

The military will get us on our feet, teach us how to maintain and strengthen our knowledge of money, responsibility, and allow us to see other places.

My husband has a dream of being a doctor. A Physical Therapist to be exact. He took matters into his own hands and got turned plenty of times. But not this time. 

I am going to speak life into his job and say that he was picked for it. 

What I’m so happy and so blessed to say is that he got the opportunity to choose that as one of his preferred jobs. He scored high enough to put it down. After all the money spent and classes he took for what he believed was the guide to his goal. 

His life path was right in front of him the whole time. We just have to trust our God.

My husband had given up on his dreams because he’s been put down and deterred by many people. But, this brought him back gave him hope, all the while being confident that he would be ok if he wasn’t picked.

As of now we wait to hear back about jobs and a ship out date. While we wait we have been Googling all the help and resources the Air Force has to offer to help us get financially stable and responsible adults. 

I hope you all enjoyed and are just as excited for this journey. I ask that you follow, share, and comment.

Thank you, 

Simply Tatyana 

Posted in Motherhood

Broke Mama? Are You a Good Mother?

Posted on by Simply Tatyana

How much money you have in the bank does not determine how good of a mother you are!

Your age does not determine how good of a mother you are!

Your race does not determine how good of a mother you are!

Do not be fooled by society. 

Do not let them con you into believing you can not be the best mother out there because your not rolling in dough.

News flash this might make you an even better mother because you may be forced to shower your babies with more love than gifts. 

It is true that we believe gifts are better than true love. Gifts provide a hint of love. You can give gifts with no real meaning behind it. What is your heart like? A good heart provides true love.

We have become so wrapped in material possessions that we live at work and visit our homes. All because we are trying to get more money to buy more things that are of not much value.  We forget to value the time are given.

Children are so forgiving. They do not expect to receive things that they’ve never had. It becomes a problem when we shower them with things that we can not afford to keep up with.

We are given one life to live. The best form of money we can give our children is love and time. That will make you the best mother in the world.

Are your bills paid or seeking help to pay them ? Yes. Great mother. 

Are you and your babies feed or seeking help to feed them ? Yes. Great mother.

Are you stressed but still loving on your babies ? Yes. Great mother.

Are you working hard on yourself to make sure your happy ? Yes. Great mother.

Do your baby have everything he/she needs to survive not just for your pleasure ?

Don’t compare your motherhood journey to anyone else. Love your journey, perfect your mothering, and own it. You were born for this. Leave your bank account for rent and groceries and open your heart to books, picnics, at home movie nights, games, late night talks, and anything that makes you and your babies smile.

Thank you for Joining me!

Be sure to follow, share, and comment.

-SimplyTatyana